Is it unhealthy to push away love?

You're just confused and subconscious of your body. You want to be in a relationship, but you don't want the burdens that come with it. You just want to be yourself, and you feel as if you had someone you liked, you'd have to think for that person as well. What they would want or what they would like for you to do. You still kept in mind that gentleman's feelings when you felt you didn't wanna lead him on and then have him smack at a dead end. But the thing is, you don't have to move a relationship faster than YOU want to. So if like this guy, let him get close, but go only as fast as you want, don't feel pressured by your infatuation to go further than you are comfortable with. Falling in and out of love is part of being anxious. You must think and meditate on what you really want. You may think you have already, but just sit and relax and really think about what you want. Because you are still confused in your mind.